One thing lost, Two gained
by 99 CDN
Summary: When Gibbs opens up his heart to the past, will Kate welcome him with open arms or will her uncertainty for heartbreak stop them on Christmas Eve? R


**Disclaimer: **_Sadly I do not own this show sniff sniff, if I had you can bet Kate would still be alive and well and her and Gibbs would be together. _

Gibbs stepped off the elevator at the end of his shift and he entered the bullpen to see Kate slipping on her winter coat and button it up. He walked past her and sat down at his desk and laid his head in his hands and sighed.

"What's wrong Gibbs?" Kate asked as she had walked over to the opposite side of the desk and starts to pull on her leather gloves then stopped when he didn't respond. "Gibbs?" she asked as she spoke a little louder and gripped his elbow.

He tilted his head a little to meet her gaze she smiled a little. She pulled on her other glove and took a step back as she wrapped her scarf around her neck and flipped her hair out of beneath it.

"Nothing Katie, Christmas is just not my thing, never was," he sighed as he picked up his head and turned on his monitor to check for his emails before he left.

Kate looked at him concerned and brought her chair over by his desk and sat down with her arms crossed on his desk.

He lifted his eyes from the screen and laid them on Kate; looking at her bright mocha eyes were framed with her light brown hair that ended a little bit more then her shoulders.

"Come on," she said as she stood up and held her hand out for him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Where are we going," he asked as he slowly got up and turned off his computer.

Kate smiled knowingly and fetched his heavy trench coat and held it up to him. He smiled and slid an arm into one arm and then the other.

"I'm going to take you to my favorite spot in all of DC," she said cheerfully as she led the way towards the elevator and she pressed the button.

They stepped out of the building and they both closed their jackets a little more and stuffed their hands into their pockets. They walked down the street and she looked down at their feet while they walked.

"Why don't you like Christmas if you don't mind me asking," she whispered as she looked up at him.

Gibbs looked around him and noticed that it had begun to snow. He cleared his throat and looked down at her and met her gaze.

"My father left when I was 12 on Christmas Eve, he left and never came back," he said cutting to the point and did not try and sugar coat it.

Kate stopped in her tracks mouth wide open. Gibbs had continued to walk but stopped when he didn't feel Kate beside him anymore. He stopped and turned around to see Kate a few feet away hugging herself from the cold and merely looking at him as if she had just met him.

"I…I didn't realize, I'm sorry Gibbs I shouldn't have asked," she said as she tightened her scarf and flipped the lapels of her coat upwards to caress her cheeks.

The corner of Gibbs's lips curved upwards as he made his way back to where she stood frozen in place on the corner of 5th and 6th Avenue, When he was but inches away from her she spoke again.

"If you would rather us not do this I understand," she said very lowly and not looking at him but merely at his chest. He smirked again and took his hands out of his pockets and placed his index beneath her chin and tilted upwards until her gaze met his.

"Would you think I would've said no to your request if I didn't want to come with you?" he teased lightly drawing a little smile out of Kate and they spent a long moment just staring in each other's eyes, brown irises melting into blue becoming lost in their depts. She looked away and smiled before taking hold of his hand and led him across the street into Center Square.

He liked the feeling of Kate's hand tucked in his own so much that he forgot where he was. They walked down a bricked path where trees surrounded them left and right covered in new fallen snow, icicles dangling from lampposts and glittering from the light hitting them. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her look around them at the scenery; she looked as if she were a little girl again walking into the candy store for the first time.

"You really like Christmas don't you?" he asked as he squeezed her gloved hand and looked at her while they walked towards the center where he heard the faint whispers of song and laughter.

"Out of all the holidays, I have to admit it's my favorite out of all of them," she whispered with so much passion he couldn't help but chuckled.

"What do you like about it?" he asked as they gathered around a group of carolers; men, women and children combined all dressed up as the carolers in the olden days with long skirts and bonnets.

She didn't answer but from the expression she had on her face he had to guess the whole thing.

The carolers finished their song and the audience erupted in applause. Gibbs laughed at Kate's behavior and laced his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer, what propelled him to do so he couldn't say but he would never admit that he found it right.

He looked back to the group when he noticed the face of a little girl glow when she looked at his companion.

"Katewyn!" the little girl squealed, and that was followed by more squeals from the rest of the group. The people around them all turned and stared at the woman the little carolers were cheering at.

Gibbs followed a little girl and boy thread through the many legs of the audience and laced their hands around Kate's legs.

"Hello Billy, Christina," she cooed going down to her knees and kissed them both on the forehead.

Gibbs stared at the group with a twinkle in his eyes and the first genuine smile on his lips she had ever seen.

"Billy, Christina this is my boss Jethro Gibbs," she said introducing them to her boss and secret lover.

The little girl with the rosy cheeks looked the older man up and down. From his silver hair, his electric blue eyes to his strapping attire.

"You're wight Katewyn he is cute," she whispered as a blush crossed her cheeks. Kate coughed a little out of embarrassment and continued on with the introductions.

"Gibbs, this is Billy and Christmas two of many that are residing at the orphanage, I volunteer there on my days off," she said her voice filled with mirth and the smile she portrayed on her face was nigh comparable.

"Please come sing with us?" A woman from the stage beckoned with an open hand and the rest of the group all agreed.

Kate turned towards Gibbs and asked in a silent plea with her eyes.

He chuckled and led his hand towards the front and watched the little kids dragged his coworker to the front of the line on their makeshift stage. Gibbs made his way to the front of the line and watched as Kate's cheeks reddened with glee and she sat down and held a little girl on her lap who had to have been no more then three before a guitarist started to string familiar notes and the company began to humming low leaving the spotlight to their new companion.

_Silent Night, Holy Night_

_All is calm, all is bright_

_Round yon virgin, Mother and Child_

_Holy infant so tender and mild_

_Sleep in heavenly peace_

_Sleep in heavenly peace._

Gibbs was mesmerized from the moment she had opened her mouth and the gentle notes strummed out of her vocal cords. Never has he seen or heard anyone whose voice was so luscious and harmonious. Their gazes met from the beginning of the song and never faulted from each other. His eyes glimmered in a light shade of blue she had never witnessed before and was glad to admit that she would grow to love it.

Silent Night, Holy Night 

_Shepards quake at the sight_

_Glories streams from heaven afar_

_Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia_

_Christ the savior is born!_

_Christ the savior is born_

_Silent Night, Holy Night_

_Son of God loves pure light_

_Radiant beams from thy holy face_

_With dawn of redeeming grace,_

_Jesus Lord, at thy birth!_

_Jesus Lord, at thy birth_

As she finished the song all the eyes of the audience were all glued on the young woman who was holding onto a little girl tightly, the little child gleaming up towards the woman and smiled.

Gibbs smiled and clapped enthusiastically as he was joined by the rest of the audience, once the carolers were finished passerbys let coins and bills drop into the man's guitar case, Kate stood up and held out her arms towards one of the women and she took the little girl who was sucking her thumb. Kate fished into her purse and withdrew her cheque she had received from work and sighed it over to the Orphanage of God and held it out to the woman in charge. The woman looked at Kate in question then looked down to the piece of paper in her hand and her eyes widened in surprise and she looked up at the other woman.

"Oh Miss Kate we couldn't possibly accept this," she said as Gibbs appeared at Kate's side and looked at her quizzically then back to the plump woman bundled in long skirts.

"It is my thank you and donation towards the Orphanage, Merry Christmas France, and thank you for helping me" Kate said sweetly and hugged the woman.

Gibbs looked in the other woman's hand and noticed the cheque he had been given to Kate that morning, along with a bonus for Christmas it was well over a thousand dollars.

A smile broke out from the whole Orphanage and the woman broke out in tears and gathered Kate in her arms and she wrapped her arms around the bigger woman.

"God bless you Caitlin Rose, you were brought up like Our Lord's Child and I'm sure he's smiling down on you at this very moment," the woman wept in the smaller girl's shoulder. Gibbs smiled at the gift and he could feel his eyes slowly mist. He had never seen something so kind done to anyone in a very long time, but he wasn't surprised in the least that it would have been from Kate.

On their way home Gibbs couldn't take his eyes off of his subordinate. She smirked and shifted her eyes towards her boss.

"What's on your mind Gibbs," she asked lightly as they crossed the street towards Kate's little town house.

"That was very nice of you to do that Kate," he said as he followed her close behind as they walked up her driveway, the snow having begun to fall once more.

"Everyone should have a Christmas, especially them," She whispered as she unlocked her door and held it open for him to go in. He nodded and stepped into a quaint hall where she hung up her coat and gave him a hanger and he too hung up his jacket and peeled off his boots.

They stepped into the living room and Gibbs ventured further in the house as Kate went to the kitchen to start a fresh pot of coffee. She walked over to the fridge and took out the eggnog carton and asked if Gibbs wanted one.

"I've never had it before," he asked shyly and then the corner of his lips rose when Kate's eyes widened in pure shock.

"You have NEVER has eggnog before…in your life!" she asked blown away as she went over to a cupboard and withdrew two cups and poured a decent amount into both of them, then going madly through her spice cupboard she took out a little container of cinnamon and sprinkled a bit on both.

She took her cup in her hand and gave Gibbs his.

"Cheers," lightly clinking his glass with hers before they both took a sip, their eyes locked on each other like magnets the whole time the drank.

"Not bad," he whispered huskily as he was met with a sweet smile from his partner.

When they made their way to the living room and he sat down on her black leather sofa and enjoyed the heat of her electric fireplace. He looked at her while she sat down on the ground and undid some box and took out a tangle of white lights and golden wreaths. He looked at her with a loving smile on his lips. The glow of the fire dance on her creamy white skin and the moonlight made him wonder how soft her tresses were.

"What are you doing?" he asked with one leg over his knee and leaning back comfortably with a half full glass of eggnog resting in his palm.

"I never got a chance to decorate my tree, I've had it for nearly a week, and the fact that it's Christmas eve's not the best time to do it, but it just wouldn't seem right without it…you know?" she asked shortly pausing from untangled the little bulbs and laying them straight on her carpet.

Gibbs had on a thoughtful look, a look of reminiscing upon his brow.

"Jethro what's wrong?" she asked quietly at the last knot of the lights before she got up and walked over to lean on her knees at his feet and leaning her hand on his knee.

He looked down still in his daze but with a little smile on his lips, it seemed he was doing a lot of that lately, ever since Kate had invited him to spend Christmas with her.

"What did you say?" he whispered lightly amazed and blown away at the same time.

"Umm, what's wrong?" she repeated a little confused at what the older man said.

"No before that," he said and he put down his glass and relaxed again.

"Jethro?"

"You called me Jethro, I like it," he said very softly, just below a whisper.

"I'm glad since it's your name, would you like to help me with the tree?" she whispered just as quietly as he had before, and getting to her feet before tending out hand for him to take. He looked at it a moment as if it were something alien and questionable.

They were making their way just fine, soft Christmas melodies were streaming through the speakers, basking the whole room in warmth and joy. At the bottom of the box Gibbs took out a glorious angelic-faced angel and held it carefully and delicately in his calloused hands.

Kate came over and met him at his side. She smiled and trailed her finger down its serene dress.

"She was my mother's," Kate said lightly with a nostalgic tone.

"Why aren't you spending it with your family?" Gibbs asked as he stared back at the ornament in his hand.

"Umm, both my brothers are somewhere in the states and my parents died a long time ago," she said sadly but threw on more tinsel on her tree.

"I'm sorry Katie I didn't mean to bring it up, forgive me,"

"There's nothing to forgive, it was a long time ago and I don't think they would want me to dwell on it, Christmas has always been my release, it was my mom's favorite holiday, so I kind of make it a tradition, to do everything she did," she said and smiled sweetly and threw up her last bundle of tinsel at the top of the tree.

Gibbs looked down at her thoughtfully while he was toying with the dress of the ornament in his hands.

"You want to do it?" Kate asked as she walked over to the fireplace and lifted up her cup and took another sip of her eggnog.

"You sure? I mean she's your mother's" Gibbs asked hesitantly as he looked at how the tree was decorated nicely with red, blues and silvers, the smell of pine radiating from the tree.

"It would mean a lot to me if you did, besides this is your Christmas too right?" she said as she walked over to where they were going to plug in the lights and looked amazed at how Gibbs gently handled the angel as he slipped it on top of the tree, but what amazed her was the fact that his eyes were bright and gentle.

"Ready?" she asked as she held the plug inches away from the outlet. When he nodded she smiled and plugged it in, a second later her breath stopped in her throat like it did every time she would plug in the lights after a job well done.

Gibbs himself was shocked as well; it had been a while since he saw a tree and it was able to suck the life right out of him.

They merely stood there, shoulder-to-shoulder as they marveled the tree for all its beauty.

"Do you want your Christmas gift now or later?" Gibbs whispered gently as they still looked amazed at the tree.

Kate tore her eyes away from the tree and looked up surprised and blinked.

"What?" she exclaimed as if he had accused her of spilling his coffee.

Gibbs chuckled and dug out from his pocket a small rectangle gift-wrapped box and handed it over to her. She looked quickly to the box in his hands and back into the eyes of the older man.

"What is it?" she asked timidly taking it in her hand and looking at it as if she'd never seen a present before.

"Why don't you open it and find out," he said amused and sat down into the recliner chair and looked up at her standing in the middle of the room still staring at the box in her palm.

She smiled and sat down on the edge of her coffee table and gently unwrapped the bright gold wrapper and discarded it beside her before she once again met the eyes of her boss. Receiving the 'go ahead' nod she opened the dark velvet blue box in her palm and gasped as she looked at what it contained.

"Oh my gosh Gibbs!" she exclaimed as her hand flew to her mouth in surprise. She picked up a delicate gold chain with a sparkling multi-facet white gold cross adorning its center.

"I remembered you broke your other, so I thought I'd buy you this one," he explained as he got up and tended out his hand. In a trance Kate handed him the chain and lifted up her hair so to let him clasp it on.

She trailed the chain all the way to the back with her fingers and turned to face him.

"Thank you Gibbs, you don't know how much this could possibly mean to me," she said and stood on her tippy toes and posed a soft kissed on Gibbs's cheek and pulled him into a hug. His arms wrapped around her upper torso and brought her to him closer then ever and posed a sweet, soft kiss on her soft brown locks.

They pulled apart and Kate brought out a present from thin air. Gibbs smiled fondly at the petite woman in front of him and took the package from her hand and sat back on the black leather recliner and beckoned her to join him.  
She smiled and sat on the arm of the chair and watched with a knowing smile as he opened the present.

With a chuckle he took out a sterling silver picture frame and went over the Polaroid with his ice blue eyes.

_It was last Christmas, they team was working a gruesome double and it showed no sign to make it back for the holidays. But that didn't stop Kate or Abby. Both of them had left earlier on that night both their houses where they brought the Christmas Dinner they had made for later on that night and brought it to the lab. While the rest of the team were either in Autopsy or Interrogating, Kate and Abby set everything up in the lab, from the turkey, to the trimmings, to the wreaths, the lights and the mistletoe. When the guys came down to Abby's page they were all surprised and all had tears in their eyes. Of course Tony blamed the water works on Kate's cooking, but they all knew the real reason for the speechless men. Later that night they had exchanged gifts, Christmas tidings and lots of stuffing. They had taken that picture at the end of the night; Abby had put the timer on the camera and had raced back for the flash. They were all huddled in a tight hug and were smiling for all they were worth. The other thing that was amiss was the fact that Kate and Gibbs weren't smiling at the camera but was smiling at each other; which coincidently they were standing under the mistletoe Abby had strategically hung._

He unconsciously trained his thumb across his and Kate face and was about to put it down when he noticed something shiny behind the stand. In all his years he would never have accepted a piece of jewelry from another women other then from Kate. It was a normal chained dog-tagged bracelet with 'Semper Fi' engraved on the top. Kate gently took the bracelet from his calloused thumb and added it to his other dog-tagged bracelet.

"Don't worry it was hard for me to decide whether or not to get you that, but hey I thought that worst you could do was ground me on desk duty, so I took a chance, I hope you like it," she said timidly as she got up and headed to the kitchen through away the discarded wrapping paper. Through it all he watched her as she lightly walked towards the kitchen, then she disappeared.

The minute she turned the corner she slammed her back against the wall and brought both shaky hands to her face and sighed deeply. Why was she doing this? She thought as she placed a trembling hand over her heart feeling it pound against her hand and swallowed sharply. She knew what dangers it would cause, the trouble she would be in if she actually did go through with it, she couldn't stand it if she had her heart crushed again.

Right when she was about push away from the wall she felt his presence, she felt the shadow loom over her. She was too scared to open her eyes much less move, she just stood there, her breathing erratic and quick.

"Kate?"

"Gibbs we can't," she said eyes still closed facing away from the older man.

"Can't we?" he asked amused at how at the mere mention of her name she had dismissed it and cancelled further engagement.

"We just can't not only is it against the rules, it will never work out; I cannot hope that one day you love me and the next you decide to break me, I'm not a one night stand Jethro I-" his lips interrupted her, at first she was surprised her eyes shot open but as she watched his lips move gently and slowly over hers did she close her eyes and move slowly against his own lips. He slowly snaked his hand behind her back and drew her close until she was taunt against his own body. Timidly as if deciding she laced her arms around his neck. They broke apart slowly, Gibbs resting his head against her forehead as he looked at her, her eyes closed as she slowly let out a breath. A smile playing at the edge of his mouth as he watched her contemplate what had just happened, so he decided to help her with that decision.

"Caitlin?" he asked gently as a small wind over a quiet lake. She jolted and opened her eyes searching the endless depths of his cool blues eyes trying to find a reason, a hint or an indication into which she was heading way over her head. "Katie, I can assure you that I am a man of my word, and I do not believe in one night stands, besides Rule 12 was only invented so that I wouldn't lose you to DiNozzo," he said as he gently ran his fingers down her cheek, stroking silk. "Why do you think I hired you, apart from the fact that you were clever, wise and one of the few people I would trust completely and whole heartedly?" he stopped and regarded how she was taking everything in.

Her eyes were wide open, trying to grasp at where he was going. "The other reason, a big part of the reason is because I…well I found out that I had feelings for you, and since then, well I couldn't stand to lose you, not to some half-witted idiot who cheats on you and takes you for granted, hell I wouldn't be able to take it if you were taken from me. So you know I could and would never treat you less then you are, the only woman in the world who could ever possibly make me feel whole and young at the same time," By the time he was done with his explanations her lips held the biggest and most beautiful smile he had ever seen; a smile that lit up her eyes like stars would a sky.

He played with a small strand of hair that fell from behind her ear and twirled it between his thumb and index.

"Katie, do you want this?" he asked softly as he traced small tiny circles with his free and on the back of her hand. She closed her eyes in contentment and closed her eyes to try and stop the tears from sliding down her cheek and catching onto his thumb.

"Are you okay?" he asked slowly as he thumbed her tears away and kissed each eyelid.

"Never better, and yes I want this, more then ever," That night, he smiled like a lover would to his partner, and that smile to her, would solve world hunger, poverty and war.

They met once more for a heartwarming kiss, sweet at first but then it turned to something more something that made the earth quake, winter turn into summer and make the smallest of seeds to bloom in the most beautiful of flowers.

"Merry Christmas Katie,"

"Merry Christmas Jethro,"

THE END

**Author's Note: **_You cannot possibly imagine the rush I went through to finish this before the strike of midnight lol hope you enjoy. _

_Brit_


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